November 29 and 30 - Learning new things

I felt a little bit like Santa Claus on this day.  I had  my list - I checked it twice, I thought that I had everything done 'nice'.  Pfft.  Not a chance.  What could go wrong, did!  Thank goodness for great friends and supporters who managed to work around the difficulties that I manifested technologically. Mwah!

It was definitely a day of doing things in new ways - new technologies, new 'knowings' of lines in palmistry, meeting new guides during holistic healing sessions.  In the midst of all this newness and the excitement that this brings, my body continued to remind me that we were still in the getting to know you stage of our relationship.  You'd think that after 40 *cough, cough* years, I'd know my own body quite well.  No way.  Old memories, old emotional attachments kept coming to the fore all during the day.

These came up in a variety of ways.  I would feel a twinge or a muscle movement and place my hand there; asking my body why this particular movement was happening.  It was like opening up a floodgate and being bombarded with 'old' memories.  So many were in 'sepia' tones of memory!  My difficulty now lies in moving through these emotions rather than sitting and dwelling.  I asked for this and now, it is my responsibility to deal with it too.  I pulled cards, did Reiki on myself, colour healing even a little feng shui.  On top of all that, I called on Access Consciousness: If it's not mine, return it to sender.

Obviously (as I'm still feeling this), this journey is going to take awhile.  I can feel my gaze turning inward and acknowledging that as part of my humanity, there is a variety of emotions stored within my cellular memory.  To be cleansed, to move forward, these need to be acknowledged and assimilated rather than being swept under the proverbial carpet.

This process continued onto today, the 30th.  I wasn't sure whether I could blog effectively when I wasn't feeling particularly up to par.  The day flowed onto working at my friend's business for healing work.  Thank you Spirit that you could place a sufficient boundary between my mind/emotions and the healing work that occurred today.  I am continually amazed at your proficiency and sufficiency.  Thank you.  Some interesting emotions flowed through this day ~ not just little ones either.  The big ones: Jealousy, Resentment, Anger and Shame.  Wow!  The Big Four.  Fear capped them all.  Woah! Hold on.  That is NOT me!  What is happening?  A situation eventuated where I was able to voice these feelings safely with a friend and by talking it 'out' of my body, these emotions were released.  The kindness of friends, clients and strangers helped me to release these totally from my body today.  Thank the Goddess for that!  I don't know whether I could go through that again quickly.  It was like birthing!  Feelings the emotions rise, the waves of emotions getting stronger and closer together.  The only thing missing was being able to grab someone's hand and clenching it so hard while calling them foul names ;)  I think I did that to myself quite well.

Apart from some quiet moments catching the rays of Vitamin D and peering into the clouds, willing them to rain, I spent most of my day inside. When that happens it certainly feeds into the dissonance of self.  Note to self: GET OUT INTO THE GARDEN TOMORROW!

Namaste